Someone recently said to me, “I can understand where Jane is coming from,” in response to Jane expressing she was in pain. It was because of this understanding that the someone approved of Jane’s pain.
Another someone said, “I don’t feel sorry for her,” in response to another Jane expressing pain over a situation the someone didn’t believe should cause pain.
In reality, their approval and disapproval doesn’t make the pain being felt a reality or a myth. The pain exists regardless.
Someone else told me, “It’s freedom of speech. You can’t let words hurt you.”
Maybe words don’t hurt that someone, but he or she doesn’t represent the entire race of human beings.
What is it with rationalizing pain?
We don’t need to understand or approve of it for it to exist.
In fact, it doesn’t need to go any further than an expression of pain for it to be clear it exists in that moment.
I’ve got a bright light bulb for everyone: The only thing anyone needs to relate to pain is to have been in pain, in any of its form, themselves. If you have ever been in pain, then that is all that is required to understand it, relate to it and empathize with it. Moving beyond there, dissecting it, trying to force it away by saying something should or shouldn’t cause pain is ignorant and cruel.
We all experience it differently. Different things hurt or do not hurt different people. But if someone says, “I am in pain,” then stop right there, because since you have felt pain, then you can empathize and can verify its existence, again, not that you are required or ever needed to do so. I am confident the person in pain can do this.
Let’s discuss pain briefly.
Researchers from the University of Michigan, Columbia University and the University of Colorado found that when it is in the processing stage, the brain makes little distinction between physical and emotional or psychological pain.
Reach Editor Stephen Bartlett at firstname.lastname@example.org.